Fix You
by Exhume Symbiosis
Summary: "You may be broken, but don't worry.  I'll fix you." James whispered into his ear. "I promise." AU. James/Carlos. Reasons for the rating are in the first chapter.
1. Pretty boy

**This story is so angry-like! Haha, first Jarlos fic. Rated M for self-harm, language, and some sexy time in the future. Enjoy!**

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><p>You probably know Carlos Garcia. One of the best hockey players in the state. Has tons of friends. Goofy. Happy. Good grades. Cute. Also, a very good singer.<p>

_But you know what else Carlos could be? A fucking actor._

Everyone just _loves_ Carlos. But do they even know him?

Carlos doesn't let the fact that every girl (and probably boy) in the school-hell, everybody in the school district- wants to date him, get to his head. He doesn't get pleasure out of the fact that all guys, especially the ones who play hockey, are scared shitless of Carlos.

He doesn't understand how people consider him "dreamy."

No, Carlos is much more complex than that. You know must guys these days. Cocky, narcissistic, assholes. (ahem, James Diamond) But not Carlos, Carlos has no confidence. Zip. Zero. _Nada_.

So, that's why Carlos doesn't sleep. That's why Carlos takes a blade every night, and cuts a new place on his body.

Oh, you didn't know that? Well now you know.

Carlos was now a junior at Rocque Hill high school in Minnesota. He played varsity hockey for them. As a freshman, Carlos got JV (junior varsity) and was a little saddened by the fact. (He actually started cutting as a freshman.) So, he worked his _ass_ off. His older brother always told him "exercise helps stress go away" and Carlos had a lot of that so he began practically working himself to exhaustion in hockey. But, the stress wouldn't leave.

He came to Rocque Hill not knowing anybody. Most of the freshman had their group of friends, and luckily, Carlos got to be in the group of friends with the most popular kids in school. After he made friends, he still had to deal with the constant stress pushing down on him of his father hating him and his brother, his mother being incredibly ill, and his older brother not being there to comfort him when he was down since he had just started college.

He had no one. His two best friends, Kendall and Logan, wouldn't be able to help so he didn't bother telling them.

As I said before, the stress wouldn't go away, so he began to cut.

Boy, did it help.

As a Sophomore, Carlos made varsity. He was proud, but not proud enough to stop cutting.

So there, that's Carlos Garcia. His true self hidden by a contagious smile.

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><p>Carlos sighed as he closed his locker. Today was the big day. The huge game against Palm Creek.<p>

I know, dumb name for a school right? They were in fucking Minnesota for God's sake!

Anyways, Palm Creek was their rival school. Before Carlos joined the team, both JV and varsity had a back and forth "win some, loose some" thing with Palm Creek's JV and varsity.

But right when Carlos came, both JV and varsity _destroyed_ Palm Creek every game. It had been like that for two seasons, and Rocque Hill didn't expect it to change this season.

"Hey bro." Kendall Knight said as he got to his locker, which was right next to Carlos'.

"Hey." Carlos said, calmly.

"Are you ready to _own_ Palm Creek?" Kendall asked, green eyes shining. Carlos' blonde, green eyed, bushy eyebrowed friend was also on varsity along with Logan Mitchell, his genius, pale, other best friend.

"For sure dude!" Carlos smirked.

"That's what I'm talking about." Logan said, coming out of no where.

They all discussed things as Carlos eventually zoned out, only snapped out of his thoughts by a single statement.

"-James Diamond." Logan finished. Carlos hadn't heard the first part of the statement.

Kendall scoffed. "Fucking pretty boy."

Logan chuckled as Carlos frowned.

James had made JV when Carlos, Logan, and Kendall had also made JV in freshman year. He was in the same grade as the trio. He was buff and very good looking. Every time Rocque Hill played Palm Creek, Carlos would find himself staring at the hazel eyed brunette through his hockey mask. Something about that smug smile made Carlos want to fuck that pretty face up.

Would James Diamond be so God damn cocky if he wasn't so God damn hot? Most likely not.

He was really good at hockey, but it annoyed Carlos how good-looking he knew he was.

It annoyed Carlos even more when he would find himself thinking about the pretty boy in the late hours of the night. Every time Carlos fantasized about James doing something to him, something like touching him, kissing him, he would cut himself even more than usual, as a punishment for even thinking of another boy like that.

"He's good though." Carlos finally said. Kendall and Logan shrugged and nodded in agreement, as the bell rang. They said their goodbyes and went to class.

The day went by normally.

Finally the end of the day bell rang and kids flooded the hallway, patting Carlos on the back, wishing him good luck. He smiled gratefully at everyone. After he gathered his backpack, he met up with Logan and Kendall and headed to go own Palm Creek again, as they had every year.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it!<strong>


	2. Just This Once

**Here comes some JARLOS! Well, the reason I updated so fast is because when I have a story in my head, I can't focus on anything else until I get it written down and I got a good review already (TidusGT! Thanks!) and so I figured it was appropriate. Enjoy!**

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><p>Carlos and his team got ready in the locker room. It was a home game for them, so they could already hear the other students of Rocque Hill cheering crazily.<p>

Their coach walked in.

"Guys, no matter what happens tonight, you guys make me proud. So, go play hard!" He said. The team all cheered and patted each other on the back, as coach patted their helmets as they left the locker room to go to the rink.

The game went by normally. Guess who won? The usual. Rocque Hill.

The crowd was going crazy. Carlos was definitely the star player. Palm Creek bitterly congratulated Rocque Hill.

Well, they were all pretty bitter. Except for one.

"Hey, good job." Carlos heard someone say. He turned around to be facing a tall brunette with some familiar hazel eyes.

"T-thanks," Carlos awkwardly stuttered, "you too."

James smiled and patted Carlos on the back. "I'm James Diamond, by the way." He extended a hand.

Carlos almost said 'I know.' but decided that would be too weird.

"Carlos Garcia." Carlos shook hands with the pretty boy.

"We should hang out sometime dude, and practice. I definitely have a lot to learn."

"You're really good but yeah, we should."

"Alright, what's your number?"

Carlos gave James his number and James gave Carlos his number.

"I'll text you sometime soon! Once again, great job!" James grinned and walked away as he waved. Carlos waved back, slightly dazed.

He felt a weird feeling inside him. Proudness? No. Nervousness? Maybe a little. Happiness? Definitely.

He quickly smiled at himself, heading back to the locker room. Boy, was he surprised by the effect the pretty boy had on him.

Logan and Kendall stopped him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you just _befriend_ James Diamond? The star of Palm Creek's team?" Kendall asked, making a disgusted face.

"Well, yeah, dude. He was being way nice and wanted to practice sometime so I could help him out. Is that a crime?" Carlos snapped.

Logan and Kendall exchanged looks before Logan turned back to Carlos.

"No, it's definitely not a crime." Logan replied, being the good person he is.

Kendall was also a good person, but he would never admit he was wrong.

"But! That's not how rivalry's work." Kendall quickly added. "James and you should be arch enemies."

"We can be tough with each other on the ice but that doesn't mean we can't be friends outside of hockey. Despite the fact he's known to be a cocky asshole, he seems like a great dude."

"Fine, but we play Palm Creek one more time this season and you _better_ not go easy on that fag." Kendall bitterly said before leaving the locker room to head home. Logan looked at Carlos with a sad look.

"Don't listen to him. He doesn't control who you're friends with." He patted Carlos on the shoulder before quickly following the stubborn Kendall out of the locker room.

Carlos sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before he headed deeper into the locker room to get changed into some normal clothes and to head home.

He would walk himself home. His car wasn't working right and it's not like his father or mother would be at one of the biggest games of the season.

As he walked, his thoughts were everywhere. They went from hockey, to Kendall, to Logan, and finally, his thoughts came to James.

He pictured the good looking boy in his face again.

He smiled but it quickly faded as he saw his broken home come into view. He sighed and walked in.

He heard his mother's breathing go soft, which meant she was asleep. His father wasn't home. _Go fucking figure._

He headed to his room and continued to daydream about James. His mind started to be controlled by how gorgeous James was.

Carlos thought about what he would do if James was in the room with him. Or better yet, what he would do to James if they were alone.

He snapped himself out of it and quickly got up to go get his blade. He slid it across his wrist and sighed at the relief.

James went out of his head and was replaced by pain. He stared at the new cut and went to the bathroom to get a tissue to wipe up the blood.

Once that was done, he laid back into bed and thought about pretty girls in his school. Girls like Jo, Camille, Stephanie.

Girls. Not boys.

And definitely not boys by the name of James Diamond.

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><p>Days passed by. It was now Friday and Carlos was finally going to give up on the idea of James texting him. He tried to talk to as many pretty girls as possible, but nothing worked. They didn't gave him the same rush that James did, even when the Latino boy just <em>thought<em> about him.

He went home and shook his thoughts away from cutting himself. But it didn't work. He had cut himself at least three times already.

He was wiping up the blood when his phone vibrated. He calmly checked it, his eyes almost popping out of his head when he saw who it was from.

**_"Hey, it's James. Wanna practice tomorrow?"_**

Carlos stared at his phone.

**_"Yeah. When and where?"_**

**_"The rink by Palm Creek. Is that cool with you?"_**

**_"Definitely." _**His car has finally started working, thankfully.

_**"K. We can hang out with each other after, if you have time." **_

Of course Carlos had the time. Hell, even if he didn't, he would cancel anything for James.

He thought it was a little creepy how he'd be willing to do that when he had just met James. He'd seen him a bunch of times, but he's only talked to him a few times.

**_"Yeah, definitely." _**He finally replied.

**_"Okay, see ya!"_**

**_"See ya!"_**

Carlos sighed happily, deciding not to punish himself this time because he thought of James in more than a 'just friend' type way.


	3. It Might be Okay

**Ahh, thank you so much for the nice reviews! They make me so happy! Enjoy this chapter. **

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><p>The next day wax the big day. The day Carlos saw James, the handsome brunette boy who had been taking over his mind the last couple days.<p>

The Latino sighed happily. He grabbed a change of clothes for after James and him finished practicing, when the two would g to James' house.

At around noon, he headed to the ice rink. Once there he saw James waiting for him, grinning widely as the two made eye contact.

"Sup, Garcia." James smiled.

"Hey Diamond." He smiled back but secretly wished James would call him something else. Something like "baby". Or maybe "cutie." he quickly shook away the thoughts. James was probably straight. Girls loved him. And even if he wasn't, why would he go for someone like him? Carlos almost sighed.

"So, I need a little help with shooting..." James said, placing his hockey stick on the ice, next to a puck. "Alright, well..." Carlos began. He wasn't planning on making a move, it sorta just happened.

"There's really no other way to show you this unless I kinda...put my arms around you..."

James laughed. "Go for it. We're friends, right? Friends hug. Manly hugs of course."

Carlos smiled and continued to show James a tech ique he had Learned as a freshman. James took it in quick, and he slowly got better at shooting.

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><p>As time went by, James finally suggested they'd go to his house.<p>

"Just follow my car." James smiled as he got into his car and Carlos got into his own car. James house wasn't too far.

Once they got there, Carlos was shocked by James' beautiful house. James opened the front door to his mansion, and let Carlos inside.

"Welcome to the Diamond residence." He smiled as Carlos was obviously shocked by the inside of the house.

"Damn," Carlos finally said, "nice house."

"Thanks." James chuckled. "Alright, well my room's upstairs. Come on!"

Carlos followed James up the long flight of stairs and his room was filled with hockey posters and a bunch of pictures of girls, half-naked.

_Totally straight,_ Carlos thought to himself, sadly.

"Hey, do you have a bathroom?"

"Right across the hall." James pointed out his door. Carlos nodded his thanks and headed to the bathroom to change out of his hockey practice clothes.

It was cold in Minnesota and James house was cold too, so he changed into some jeans and a t-shirt that was covered by his hoodie. The hoodie was for two reasons. First reason, like stated before, it was cold. Second reason, Carlos had cuts all up his arms.

He returned back to James' room.

"Thanks for teaching me stuff, by the way." James said as Carlos sat down on his bed.

"No problem. You're really good." Carlos replied.

"You are too. And you're really strong... you could probably break a hockey stick on impact just cause you shoot that hard." James chuckled.

"Thanks," Carlos laughed, "but you're probably stronger."

"Probably not. Let me see those muscles up close." James got up off of his chair and headed over to Carlos.

_Was he flirting?_ Carlos wondered. Just as James was lifting up Carlos' hoodie, Carlos remembered the scars.

"Wait, no... I'm cold." Carlos said, awkwardly.

James looked at him for a minute before laughing. "It'll be just a second..."

Carlos couldn't say anything by the time James had gotten his hoodie off. James gasped, looking at all of the scars that ran up and down his arms.

"Carlos..." James said, sadly. He sat on his bed next to him and gently touched the scars. "Did you...?"

"I-I'm sad." Carlos finally said.

James stared at Carlos with eyes full of pity. Carlos stood up as James did too.

"I'm sorry, you probably think I'm a freak. I can go home if you want me-" Carlos was cut of by James wrapping his arms around Carlos, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Carlos just stood there for a moment, before he wrapped his arms around James.

"Does anyone know?" James asked, still hugging Carlos. That's when Carlos pulled away.

He shook his head. "No. Please don't tell anyone, either. Especially not my parents. My mom's really sick right now and doesn't need more to worry about... and my dad..." Carlos trailed off.

"Your dad what?" James asked, softly while he placed a loving hand on Carlos' shoulder.

"...doesn't care." Carlos sat back down on James' bed and placed his face in his hands as he tried not to cry. James sat next to him again.

"Is he why you did this to yourself?" James quietly asked.

"No... well, one of the reasons. I do it to myself for practically everything now. If I do something wrong, I'll cut myself. It's not really a punishment anymore... it just takes away the pain of whatever's troubling me." Carlos looked up at James.

"Don't..." James didn't know what to say. "Is there any replacements? Like, is there anything besides self-harm that helps take your mind off of the pain?"

"Yes... two things." Carlos sighed.

"What are they?"

"Hockey... but that barely helps anymore."

"What's the second thing?"

Carlos bit his lip. He didn't want to tell James that James had been the other thing that makes him happier besides cutting. He couldn't let James know that James was on his mind every once in a while since freshman year. He couldn't tell James that he was the only thing that had been on his mind since the big game.

_Fuck it,_ Carlos thought.

"You." He finally replied, not meeting James' gaze.

"If that's the case, we can hang out as much as possible. I'll always be around if I make you happier than cutting. Instead of cutting, you have me and hockey."

Carlos looked up, not believing it.

"That...might work." Carlos replied.

"Good. Come over anytime you want. My parents are barely home."

Carlos nodded slowly and then looked down.

"In the mean time, do you wanna talk about why you're sad?" James asked.

"I... not yet."

James nodded understandingly, his gaze never leaving Carlos' face.

He put a loving arm around Carlos' shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay." James whispered, rubbing his back.

And in that second, Carlos thought that it might actually be okay sometime soon.


	4. Secrets

**Hey! So this chapter has a lot of information in it. I also forgot how I mostly focused on Carlos so this chapter focuses on James a tiny bit and you learn something about James. You probably weren't suspecting it, but I'll explain things in the end. Hope you love it!**

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><p>James spent a few more hours trying his hardest to make Carlos smile and he succeeded.<p>

"I should probably get home." Carlos sighed as he got up off of James' bed.

"You can spend the night if you want." James quickly said, not wanting Carlos to be alone.

"My dad probably wouldn't approve of that." Carlos said. It was true, too. He rarely got to spend the night at his friends house because of his dad getting angry and yelling at him. Carlos had sneaked out before, sick of it. He found it dumb that his father could never be around and still act like a "good" parent when he was around.

"Oh okay. You sure you'll be okay?" James asked, concerned.

"Yeah, promise."

"And if you ever feel sad-"

"I'll drive over here." Carlos cut him off.

James nodded. He walked Carlos out and made sure he got out of his driveway safely.

Once he was out of sight, James sighed and plopped on his couch.

He didn't want someone as sweet as Carlos to be in pain. He was glad he had figured out he was sad.

I bet you're wondering... How did James get the reputation of being an asshole?

Well, he is an asshole.

He sure felt like an asshole right now.

You see, the only reason James had asked Carlos to basically be friends was so that he could get better at hockey.

He didn't know he cut himself... He felt like a huge ass when he found out though.

He also only talked to Carlos to piss off Kendall Knight, his enemy since the 6th grade.

No one really knew Kendall and James hated each other so much, but they did.

He felt bad. He liked Carlos. He was a good guy.

He wouldn't let Carlos know why he originally wanted to be friends... especially since James was apparently one of the things that made Carlos happy.

About thirty minutes later, James started to get nervous so he called Carlos.

"Hello?" Carlos answered.

"Carlos! Did you get home safely?"

Carlos chuckled. "Yeah. I promise if I'm ever sad, I'll come over. Does that make you feel better?"

"Very."

"Alright. I'll see you later, then."

"Okay, see ya Carlitos."

James hung up and then sighed.

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><p>A few days later, a Tuesday to be exact, Carlos entered gym class. This was the class he had with Logan and Kendall.<p>

As he entered the locker room, Logan greeted him.

"Hey, where's Kendall?" Carlos asked.

"He's been feeling sick. So he didn't come to school."

Carlos nodded and cautiously got dressed. Logan didn't watch him at all.

Gym class at Rocque Creek was almost _too_ easy.

His gym teacher was a lazy bum and barely made them do anything. Not that Logan, Kendall, and Carlos minded. They got enough exercise from hockey and it was an easy A.

Logan and Carlos sat on the bleachers. Carlos had his arms crossed, hiding the cuts.

"I'm so bored." Logan whined.

"Same." Carlos nodded. Carlos trusted Logan with the world. He was his first friend in freshman year. He told him everything. (Well except the whole cutting thing.) Logan always had amazing advice. That's when Carlos got an idea.

Should he tell Logan he thinks he has feelings for James? Or would that be weird? Logan's not the type of guy who'd stop being his friend just because he was gay. Kendall was a different story. But Logan wouldn't tell Kendall anything if Carlos told him not to. Carlos decided to quietly talk about it with Logan and ask him what to do.

"Logan... I'm gonna tell you something but don't tell anyone. Especially not Kendall." Carlos said, sternly.

Logan turned to the Latino and nodded. "I swear on my life and our friendship I well not tell anybody."

"Well... you know how I befriended James Diamond?"

Logan just nodded.

"I spent the day with him and... I don't know, I can't get him out of my head..." Carlos trailed off.

"So... your gay?" Logan asked, calmly.

"I think so."

Logan nodded and smiled. "Saw it coming."

"What?" Carlos cried. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I have an excellent gaydar." Logan smirked.

"Whatever, Mitchell." Carlos pushed Logan playfully and Logan just chuckled in return.

"No worries, bro. Your my best friend and I'll support you in whatever. Kendall won't know anything and neither will anybody else."

"Thanks dude." Carlos smiled. Logan nodded and they began to discuss hockey.

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><p>That day, Carlos drove home from school and did his homework. That's when he heard the front door open. He peaked outside his room and saw his father walk in.<p>

"Carlos? Get down here." His father said, sternly.

Carlos sighed in a shaky fashion and headed down the stairs to his father.

"Hi." Carlos quickly said. His father was known for being mean for no reason.

"How are you doing in hockey?"

"Fantastic."

"How are your grades?"

"Average... A's and B's... and one C..."

His father sighed, frustrated. "In what class?"

"Math..." Carlos replied. His father always yelled at him for not doing as good as he could in that class.

"Carlos Garcia, how many times have I told you? Get help from somebody. Like your lanky little nerdy friend, Logan."

"Dad, Logan's tried to help me. And he's not lanky, he's as strong as Kendall and I."

"Whatever. Stop being such a waste of space and do something useful!" He snapped before leaving the house.

Carlos felt like he had a bad case of whip lash. No matter how many times his father randomly lashed out on him, he'd always cry.

So that's why the tears were streaming down his cheeks.

He went up to his room and stared at the blade on his desk. He looked out the window and saw his car. It took all his willpower but he dragged himself out of his room, out the door, and into his car.

He started the car, still crying, and drove a few blocks down to James' house.

Once there, he rang the doorbell. Luckily, James answered.

"Are you parents home?" Carlos whimpered.

James looked at him sadly and shook his head. "No. Come in."

Carlos walked in and practically tossed himself into James' chest. He started sobbing uncontrollably as James just hugged him.

"It's okay." James whispered as he rubbed his back. James brought Carlos over to his couch and awkwardly sat Carlos in his lap. Carlos was too busy crying to notice and James was too busy comforting him to notice.

Once Carlos calmed down, he looked at James. James had a concerned look on his face and was still rubbing his back, gently.

Carlos realized where he was sitting, almost had a panic attack, and jumped out of James' lap to the spot on his couch next to James.

"S-sorry..." He blushed.

"No problem. I sat you there." James replied, studying Carlos' face. Carlos felt uncomfortable under his gaze and looked the other way.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not yet."

"Okay."

A few minutes passed of no speaking.

"Actually... I do."

"Alright. What happened?"

"My dad... We got into a fight over a friend and he told me I was a waste of space and left."

James looked sad. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"I didn't."

"Good."

"But I did earlier this morning."

"Why?"

"I had a test in math. I was nervous."

James nodded. "How'd you do?"

"It was easier than I thought it'd be."

"That's good. What else happened today?"

Carlos' mind raced as he thought about what he told Logan. Was it too soon to tell James his feelings for him? Yes, way too soon.

But he needed to tell him he was gay. It was something that wouldn't leave his mind. He didn't even quite believe it himself.

"I told my friend Logan my secret."

"About cutting?"

Carlos shook his head.

"Do you want to tell me this other secret?" James asked.

Carlos nodded. "I'm just... scared."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to react the wrong way."

"I promise I won't."

Carlos stared at his feet for a good minute before sighing.

"I... think... I'm gay." He finally spat out.

About a minute of more silence passed.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Carlos shook his head.

"And I'm not freaked out, am I?"

Carlos looked over at James, reading his expression.

"No."

"You see? And I have a secret for you, too."

Carlos was still looked at James.

"Okay. I won't tell anyone."

"I really don't care if you do or don't but I think you should know. It might make you feel better."

Carlos nodded.

"I'm gay too." James whispered. Carlos' eyes widened and he almost smiled.

"Whoa... I honestly didn't see that coming." Carlos chuckled, nervously.

James laughed and looked away from Carlos.

"You feel better?"

Carlos nodded slowly.

"I'm glad."

Carlos stood up.

"I should probably get going... Thanks." He smiled shyly.

"My pleasure." James grinned and got up to walk Carlos to the door.

"So, I'll see you soon then?"

"I hope. We should hang out this weekend again."

Carlos nodded happily before waving and walking to his car.

James waved back and shut the door, peaking out the window as he watched Carlos drive away.

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><p><strong>Okay so I bet you were surprised about the whole Kendall and James hating each other thing, the James only wanting to be friends with Carlos to use him, and James being gay.<strong>

**All of them were true but he wants to be friends now because he likes Carlos as a person and not just cause he's good at hockey.**

**Haha, next chapter I'll look into why Kendall and James hate each other. If you remember from the second chapter, Kendall called James a "fag". He has his reasons.**

**Hope you enjoyed this!**


	5. First Kiss

**I decided I'm going to try to update once a day. But I'm busy with school just starting and stuff, so that might not happen but I'll try to update fast because I love you guys! Haha in this chapter we look into Kendall and James' friendship type thing. This one has very very VERY minor Kogan. Enjoy!**

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><p>James frowned as he went up to his room. He thought back on how he could be so idiotic to only want to be friends with Carlos for the most selfish reasons.<p>

That's when he remembered Kendall Knight.

Kendall happened to be one of James' best friends in middle school (they all went to the same middle school), along with Logan. Kendall came to James for everything.

James never once thought of Kendall as more than just a friend and Kendall didn't either. Kendall thought of someone else as more than just a friend though.

Logan Mitchell. Genius, and he's pretty good looking too.

In middle school, they'd all attend the Friday night high school football games. On one particular Friday night, Logan asked James to go get him a hot dog since he was really into the game. James decided it'd be reasonable. Kendall asked to tag along.

Once they were by the small building that sold food, Kendall pulled James behind the building. Behind the building there was a long alley way and in that alley way, only the stoner kids hung out there.

"Um, Kendall?" James asked. "The hot dog line is already pretty long. We should just get in there now."

"Hold on, I need to ask and tell you something."

"Alright, what is it?"

"I'm gay." Kendall was holding onto James' shoulders. James made a face and then nodded.

"Okay... What do you need to ask me?"

"Should I go for Logan?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there, Kendall. Is Logan gay?"

"Probably not..."

"Then you don't want to risk that friendship, right?"

"I guess... I just... never mind, it's dumb."

"Tell me."

"I wanna know what it'd be like to kiss... a boy."

James shut his eyes tight. "Go for it."

"Um... okay..." Kendall leaned in slowly and quickly brought his lips to James.

After about 3 seconds, he pulled away and James opened his eyes.

"Alright, well let's go get Logan's hot dog." James quickly said, not wanting to ever mention that again.

Once middle school was over, James had saw Kendall at their first JV game against each other in freshman year. He quietly brought it up. Kendall got super pissed for no reason whatsoever and hadn't talked to him since.

Well, they did talk for a while. But they usually shot mean words at each other.

When Kendall called James a 'fag' one day, James lost it. James was pretty mean and was about to tell Kendall's whole team about how they kissed but decided against it since it'd probably back fire on him.

They didn't say a word to each other anymore. They just glared.

James always saw Kendall being very touchy with Logan, so he assumed Kendall still felt something for the smart boy.

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><p>A few days had passed. Carlos had cut himself over a couple of things, but never because he was sad. Mostly because he was nervous.<p>

He didn't tell James about this when they hung out that weekend.

Carlos did have a few questions for James though.

"James?" Carlos asked as they were watching TV at James' house.

"Hmm?" James responded.

"Have you ever... kissed a boy?"

James turned away from the TV, looked at Carlos and nodded.

"Have you?" He asked Carlos.

"No..."

That gave James an idea. James couldn't deny that even though he just barely met the Latino, he was beginning to grow fond of him. Anything could probably set those feelings off even more and he'd be all Carlos'. James kind of wanted that, though.

"Do you want to?" James asked.

"W-what? Well, I guess... But-"

"Say no more." James cut Carlos off. Carlos looked scared out of his mind as James slowly cupped Carlos' cheek in his hand. He leaned in slowly as Carlos still looked petrified. James put his lips onto Carlos', as Carlos just sat there.

"Come on, Carlos. Kiss me back." He said before continuing to kiss him.

Carlos began moving his lips in perfect sync with James. It was a sweet, innocent kiss. Once James pulled away, he had a huge smile on his face.

"Wasn't that nice?" James teased.

"It was. We should do it more often." Carlos replied.

James laughed and they continued to watch TV.

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><p><strong>This chapter was kinda short! Sorry, I'm super tireddd. Love you guys!<strong>


	6. Authors Note thingy

**Hey guys! Sorry for not updating for a little, but I have a GREAT chapter coming up. Lots of drama and Jarlos cuteness.**

**Anyways, I wanted to tell you guys something Jarlos related... I was at this little park with my friends and one of my friends know this one girl (I think her name was Brianna or Bri or something) and SHE LOOKED LIKE IF CARLOS AND JAMES COULD MAKE BABIES AND HAD A GIRL AND SHE GREW UP INTO A TEENAGER!**

**No joke! She was gorgeous, obviously.**

**She had James' lips and like, face shape but she was obviously a little Hispanic and she had Carlos' nose. And her hair was awesome!**

**Idk, just thought you guys would like to know that. She's coming to my school next year so I'll try to get a pic with her or something! haha, i just thought it was so cool.**

**Love you guys!**


	7. Realization

**Sorry for the longish wait. I'm going to try to finish this story by the end of next month. If you are a Jarlos and Kogan shipper, check out my story "Never Forget". It's Kogan but people want a sequel (I'm still deciding whether or not I should do a sequel or not) so if I do, it'll be a mix of Kogan and Jarlos. I _might_ make another version of that from James or Carlos' point of view (along with the Kogan/Jarlos sequel) and what they went through during that. So check it out, tell me if you want the Jarlos version and a sequel. Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter. **

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><p>Carlos had spent practically everyday after school at James' house. James and him kissed every once in a while and every time it made Carlos' stomach feel warm and happy.<p>

Carlos had always wondered why whenever he had a girlfriend, he'd end things almost immediately (girls would do the asking) because he had a weird feeling in his stomach. He didn't like the feeling so he wanted it to go away and would break up with the girls. He thought maybe he did like them and was just getting used to it, but after kissing James, he decided that wasn't true. He knew that he was gay and that's why he felt funny when dating girls. That's why it had always felt _wrong_ to him.

Everything that James did felt so _right. _

"So," James broke Carlos from his thoughts, "how've you been?" James had asked him this question everyday.

"Good... way better than before."

"Why is that?"

"Because you walked into my life." Carlos admitted.

James smiled at that. He thought Carlos was the cutest thing he's ever seen. All the facial expressions he made, all the giggles that escaped the seemingly happy boys lips (even though he obviously wasn't happy), and of course, the blush that would spread across his face when he kissed the Latino boy. James couldn't help but feel his face get a little warm, but he kept his cool.

"Do you wanna go out to dinner?" James asked.

"Like... a date?"

"Yeah, a date." James smiled. He liked the thought of that.

James and Carlos went to a pretty nice place to eat, and James had kept making Carlos smile and laugh.

Carlos looked so happy. It made James' heart swell with happiness cause let's be honest, happy looked good on Carlos.

Carlos' smile quickly faded as he looked at the entrance to the restaurant. James followed Carlos' gaze to the door to where a familiar blonde was entering with his family.

Kendall, Katie, and Jennifer Knight. Carlos looked terrified and practically hid his face in his arms.

James looked over at a glaring Kendall who was trying to figure out who the boy with James was. Kendall said something to his mother and sister as he walked towards the table.

"Carlos. I know it's you." Kendall sighed, annoyed.

Carlos looked up, the most innocent look on his face.

"Kendall...I-" Carlos began.

"What did I tell you?" Kendall interrupted him. The look on Carlos' face was heartbreaking as Kendall shot a glare at James and stormed off. Carlos knew why Kendall was angry. He was mad because he didn't want Carlos hanging out with James. Carlos was still upset though. He could never handle people being angry with him.

"Carlos, it's okay. Forget about him." James said to the Latino boy, placing a hand on Carlos'.

"I.. I gotta go." Carlos said sadly as he got out of the booth he was sitting in and ran out of the restaurant.

James cursed. He looked over at the staff, not wanting anyone to see that he didn't pay. He sighed, left two twenty dollar bills on the table and ran after Carlos.

Once James was out of the place, he looked around for Carlos.

"Carlos!" He called out. There was nothing. "Carlos, please! It'll be okay. I promise!"

Still no reply. James was beginning to doubt he was even around anymore.

James searched around the city for a good few hours, not finding Carlos anywhere. He was extremely worried. He had called Carlos over fifty times and sent him multiple texts.

There was only once place he didn't check. Carlos house.

He knew exactly where it was since he had driven and picked up Carlos. He slowly approached the house. He hopped the fence to the backyard. He looked from a distance to see which one looked like a teenage boys room. Once he had found one with hockey posters in the background, he smiled when he saw the light on and a figure walk past the window. He knew it was Carlos. He frantically searched for something to get him up there. That's when he saw the huge tree next to the window. He was a terrible tree climber, but Carlos was worth it.

He hopped on to the trunk and began to pull himself up, being careful not to climb on the smaller and weaker branches.

Once he was up high enough, he quickly knocked on Carlos window. Carlos opened the window and peaked outside, his eyes blood shot. He had definitely been crying.

"J-James?" Carlos whispered, not wanting to wake up his parents.

"Hey," James' foot almost slipped off the tree branch but he caught himself. "can I come in?"

Carlos quickly nodded and took James' hands as they worked together to pull James through the window. James tripped slightly and soon Carlos and James were toppling to the ground, letting out quiet sounds of pain as they landed on the floor next to each other. Carlos immediately froze, got up, opened his door really quickly and shut it again.

"I was checking if we woke my parents up." He whispered. James nodded and Carlos helped James up. Once he was up, Carlos tried to remove his hands from James' hands but James wouldn't let go. James pulled up the sleeves of the hoodie Carlos was wearing and sighed sadly at what he saw. A fresh cut. It wasn't too deep, but it still worried him.

"Carlos-" James begun in a whisper.

"James, I was in pain. You've been numbing the pain for me but I don't feel like Kendall's going to be too happy with me for a while, and what did you expect me to feel? I was panicking, I needed some relief." Carlos snapped back in a whisper.

James was a little surprised Carlos had snapped at him, but he got over it. "I was there. I could've helped you. I told you I'd be here for you instead of cutting."

Carlos didn't reply. He sighed softly and sat on his bed. James stared at the Latino boy before sitting on his bed and leaning against the wall. He pulled at Carlos' arm slightly, urging him to come closer to him. Carlos nodded and moved closer to James, sitting next to him against the wall and leaning his head on James' shoulder. James put an arm around the smaller boys shoulders and soothingly rubbed his arm.

A few minutes of silence passed and they heard a door open. Carlos' eyes shot open and James quickly got up.

Carlos cursed multiple times in a whisper. "Get under my bed."

James nodded and slid under the tight space underneath Carlos' bed.

Carlos laid down in his bed, and pulled the blanket over him. He put his arms behind his head.

"Carlos?" James heard a woman voice say.

"Hi, mom." Carlos smiled. He sounded almost relieved.

"You're still up?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking about school and whatnot. Sorry, I'll go to bed now."

"It's fine. Just don't want you to be tired tomorrow... You have a hockey game right?"

"Yeah, don't worry, I'll be fine. Goodnight mom, love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart." Carlos' mother smiled and headed out.

Once the door shut, Carlos peaked under the bed and James slid out, planting a passionate kiss on Carlos' lips before rising to his feet.

"Do you want me to sleep here? I'll be gone by the time your parents wake up, I promise."

"What about your parents?"

"They won't mind. They like you. But, do you want me to?"

"Of course I do."

"Good." James whispered. Carlos got back into bed, this time followed by the hazel-eyed boy.

Carlos laid down and so did James, arms wrapped around Carlos.

"James?" Carlos asked, nervously.

"Hm?" James responded.

"I love you. A lot."

James' face flushed at the words and his heart began to race almost as fast as Carlos' was. And that's when he realized he loved the other boy too.

"I love you too." James smiled as Carlos sighed in relief. James kissed Carlos' cheek.

A few moments later, Carlos' chest was rising up and down. James looked at Carlos' face and smiled at the adorable sight of the cute boy sleeping in front of him. He reached over, shut off the lamp, set a quiet alarm for 5 AM and also fell asleep.


	8. Broken

**Alrighty, next chapter. Slight Kogan in this chapter.**

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><p>The next morning, James was still holding Carlos while sleeping when he heard a loud bang and felt increasing pain in his side.<p>

"What the fuck?" James cried out, holding his ribs. His tired eyes searched the room for the cause of the pain to see an angry looking man that looked a lot like an angrier, way older version of Carlos.

Carlos' eyes shot open just as James cursed and his eyes landed straight on his father.

"Dad!" Carlos panicked.

"Get out of my sons bed." His dad demanded. James didn't want to make the man angrier so he quickly got up and stood close to the window.

"Dad, I-"

"Carlos, why is there another _boy_ sleeping in your bed with you?" His dad asked angrily. Carlos opened his mouth to say something but his dad silenced him. "I'm going to come back in here in two minutes and if he's not gone, you don't want to know what will happen." Carlos' dad growled as he exited Carlos' room with a slam of the door.

"James, get out of here." Carlos whimpered.

"No, I'm not leaving you."

"James. Leave. Now." Carlos looked truly scared but he was completely serious.

"Carlos... I don't want to leave you here. Come home with me. Please." James was practically begging.

"My dad will find me, you know. I just might as well face him now instead of hiding."

"Carlos, don't... What if he hurts you?"

"My dad has completely fucked over my self esteem before but he has never physically hurt me. If he does, I'll come over to my house. If he doesn't, I'll just call you and tell you what happens." Carlos replied.

James sighed in defeat, not wanting to leave Carlos but really having no choice.

"James, get out."

"Just remember that I love you." James quickly said before opening Carlos' window and carefully climbing down the tree.

He heard Carlos shut his window and James walked back to his car, the early morning air brushing against his face. Once he was in his car, he put his face in his hands. He let out a shaky breath before driving back to his house.

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><p>It had been a few hours and Carlos' had neither called James or showed up at his house. No matter how much he wanted the boy to come stay with him, this was one time he really hoped Carlos didn't show up at his doorstep. If Carlos' dad hurts him, James would <em>murder<em> his dad.

Another minute passed and he heard his doorbell rang. His heart stopped. He ran to the door and opened it immediately. Instead of seeing a small, Latino boy, he saw a tall blonde with bushy eyebrows along with a smaller, paler boy standing next to him.

"Kendall? Logan?"

Kendall looked pissed as Logan looked scared.

"You leave Carlos alone." Kendall snapped.

"Why? Last time I checked, I was helping him a shit load more than you ever were."

Kendall scoffed at this. "Getting him beat up by his dad is helping him? Well, thank God I had never helped him."

Logan looked down.

"Wait... what?" James asked.

"You heard right, Diamond. Nice going."

"Where the fuck is he, Kendall?" James was panicking.

"Where else would he be? The hospital, dumb ass. His dad left and his mom found him unconscious."

"Shit!" James cursed. He grabbed his keys, pushed past Kendall and ran to his car.

"James... Can we have a ride?" Logan asked politely. "We walked here."

"Yeah, get in. Hurry." James demanded. Logan and Kendall hopped into James' backseat as they headed to the hospital.

The ride was silent and awkward. Once they arrived, they practically sprinted into the hospital.

At the front desk, they asked where Carlos Garcia's room was. Once she told them directions, they hurried up there.

Once outside the room, James sighed.

"I... can't." James looked down.

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Is he bad?"

"His mom said he was... He's conscious now but he's in pain."

"You visit him first, Logan. He probably likes you the most out of us three at the moment." James sighed.

"And why wouldn't he like me?" Kendall asked.

"You made him cry, asshole."

Logan's eyes widened and he told us to calm down before going into the hospital room.

"Why do you hate me so damn much, James?" Kendall asked.

"Maybe cause you're an asshole to me?"

"You're one to me, too."

"You started it." James snapped.

Kendall sighed and looked away from James.

"Well, sorry..." Kendall murmured.

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry." Kendall repeated louder.

James waited a few moments before also apologizing.

"Carlos doesn't need us fighting, especially right now. I think it stresses Logan out too." Kendall admitted. The mention of Logan's name made Kendall's face turn scarlet.

"Kendall, can I ask you something?"

"What?" He replied.

"Do you still... have feelings for... you know?" I signaled to Logan. Kendall glared at me before his eyes dropped to his feet.

"Don't tell him or I'll kill you."

James smiled. He knew it.

"Carlos wants to see you Kendall. Then James." Logan said, walking out.

James sighed as Kendall gave him a comforting look and walked into the room Carlos was in. After about five minutes, Kendall exited and James entered.

"Hi cutie." James said sweetly as he entered. He almost gasped when he saw Carlos. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, but he had a black eye and deep red scratches on his cheeks.

Carlos smiled at the hazel-eyed boy. "I know, I'm hideous."

"No, you're just as adorable as ever." James leaned over and softly traced the cuts. Carlos winced but then relaxed.

James kissed Carlos' forehead and smiled at the Latino.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you." James kissed Carlos' lips with each word.

"I told you to, don't worry." Carlos smiled. Carlos' smile faded and he sighed. "They found the cuts. At first, they thought it was from my dad but then they realized they were self inflicted."

"Are they gonna send you away?" James asked, sadly.

Suddenly, the smile returned back to Carlos' lips as he smiled and shook his head.

"They noticed they were old. The most recent one was only the one from last night and they think that's a big improvement. My moms going to make sure to get rid or hide anything I could use. I told her you and hockey made me happy and she told me that you could be around as much as you wanted to."

James smiled widely at the response. "That's so great. I'm glad you won't be gone, Carlos." He leaned in and kissed Carlos again.

"Me too." Carlos whispered.

"How long are you in here?"

"A few more days. My mom was planning a trip to see her parents but was worried no one would watch me, so I kinda told her you said I could stay with you at your house or that you could stay with me at my house..." Carlos blushed.

"That would actually be really great. Like I said, my family loves you. But I think we should stay at your house."

"That would be good... You seem really happy."

"I am. You're getting happier." James smiled.

Carlos bit his lip. "But I'm not completely fixed..."

James leaned over to Carlos with a optimistic smile.

"You may be broken," He whispered, "But don't worry. I'll fix you. I promise."

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it! Next chapter will be up tomorrow morning or night... maybe, IDK : ive been busy**


	9. Cutie

**Guess what time it is? Sexy time. Teehee. They don't go all the way cause I feel it's too early in the story to do that yet, but they go pretty far, if you don't like smut and stuff just skip the part after the line... i just made this chapter cause i said there'd be smut but honestly, you probably expected that. enjoy!**

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><p>After Carlos got out of the hospital, James' parents were happy James was being a good "friend" to Carlos. James knew he needed to tell them he was with him eventually, but that could wait. All that mattered right now was Carlos feeling comfortable with James.<p>

James brought a weeks worth of clothes, a toothbrush, and everything else he needed. His parents got him out of school for the week, so it seemed perfect.

All except for the fact Carlos wasn't happy. The first day James was there, Carlos was super panicky and emotional, but he calmed down when James held him close.

By the third day, James had gotten Carlos to smile and laugh again.

One night, Carlos and James were laying down on the couch.

"You know? My bruises don't even hurt anymore." Carlos smiled.

"Really? That's great!" James kissed his cheek.

"Yeah..."

There was a few moments of silence before Carlos spoke up again.

"James, do you really love me?" Carlos asked.

"Of course I do. Don't ever doubt that." James replied.

"Prove it." Was all Carlos said.

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><p>James blushed at the words. "H-how?"<p>

"Make love to me, James." Carlos was so straight forward about it. James had wanted to do that to Carlos for a long time, but always avoided the feelings.

"Are you sure? It's going to hurt..."

"I know. But please, James. I want this. I want you."

James nodded. He picked Carlos up bridal style and carried him back into Carlos' room.

He planted a kiss on the smaller boys lips as he softly placed him on the bed.

"Just relax." James whispered seductively into Carlos' ear.

James began to kiss Carlos softly, but it turned heated almost immediately. Carlos kissed back, adding lots of movement with his body.

James groaned into Carlos' mouth and began to lift up his own shirt. Carlos gasped when he saw James shirtless. He was _perfect_.

James chuckled and took off Carlos' shirt.

"Sorry I'm not nearly as impressive as you are." Carlos blushed.

James smiled at Carlos. "You're absolutely beautiful."

Carlos blushed even more but smiled as James began to kiss his chest. Carlos was laying down, his legs wrapped around James' waist as James continued to kiss his body. One he got to Carlos' stomach, he began taking off Carlos' pants while still kissing his stomach.

Once Carlos' pants were off, James smiled at the arousal Carlos had.

He kissed it through his boxers as Carlos moaned.

"Ngh, James..." Carlos groaned which cause James' pants to become even tighter.

James took off his own pants, while Carlos never took his eyes off of him.

Both boys were only in their boxers now as James began leaving a hickey on Carlos' neck.

Carlos moaned and arched his back slightly.

James smiled and kissed the hickey as he started taking off Carlos' boxers. Once Carlos was out of his boxers, James gasped.

Carlos had always seemed slightly innocent and seeing how big his penis was, James was surprised.

"Geez Carlos," James chuckled.

"What?" Carlos asked, offended.

"No, don't be offended, I was complimenting you... It's _huge_. You're gorgeous." James kissed Carlos' neck and wrapped his hand around Carlos' shaft. Carlos closed his eyes and let out a little pant. James began to flick his wrist with every motion and began to kiss at Carlos' neck.

Carlos was moaning and squirming around, trying to buck into James' hand.

"Oh God, James..." Carlos groaned.

James began to flick his wrist faster, running his thumb over the head every time he came up. Carlos moaned louder with each flick of the wrist.

James watched Carlos, loving the little whimpers and occasional loud moans that came out of the smaller boy's mouth.

Carlos was beginning to sweat, his cheeks flushed, louder moans coming as he tried to buck his hips. James held his hips down.

"James, oh my God!" He began to yell rather loudly. James was intently watching Carlos still.

A few moments later, Carlos was coming. Rather loudly, too.

James kissed Carlos' cheek as Carlos caught his breath. Carlos smiled brightly at the pretty boy.

"I love you." Carlos smiled.

"I love you more, cutie." James said with a kiss on Carlos' lips.

Carlos smiled before falling


	10. Back to Square One

**Sorry for the longish wait (well, for me at least.) I've been writing a very angry, hateful Jarlos story so it's hard to write this angsty but loving one. Excuse me for this depressing chapter.**

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><p>James spent the next week never leaving Carlos' side. He made sure Carlos was never alone. Carlos was doing a lot better, but, he was obviously stressed.<p>

James knew why. Carlos was missing a lot of school and missing hockey.

Carlos told James sometimes in freshman year, he'd skip out on hockey practice to hang out with his other friends. He'd always lie to his team and coach, and ever since then, although they never found out, he'd feel horrible whenever missing a practice even if he was sick or injured.

Every time Carlos would worry, his breathing would get heavy. He had panic attacks and James was trying his hardest to calm him down. The doctor said he would most likely have panic attacks from the traumatic stress.

"Carlos, baby, I love you. It's gonna be okay. The past is the past, don't stress. You'll be fine, the school understands." James would whisper comfortingly to him.

His muscles were super tense as he panicked.

"J-James, what is everyone gonna do when I get back? No one will treat me the same..." He'd sob silently.

"Carlos, everyone loves you. Kendall and Logan will always be there for you, and you know I would if I went to your school."

Carlos continued to cry but calmed down a bit.

"It's already April, Carlos. One more month of school, and then just one more year. It will get better, I promise." James would kiss his cheek afterwards and hold him. Carlos would eventually stop crying completely and yawn.

"My back hurts, James..." He'd sigh. Carlos was always in a lot of pain and James hated to see him in any type of pain.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." He kissed Carlos before running to the kitchen. Carlos' mom luckily had this heat pad thing that definitely helped Carlos relax.

Something else that helped Carlos relax was James when he sang.

He'd sing and run his hands through Carlos' short but soft hair. He'd smile as Carlos would fall into a deep sleep.

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><p>A week after James left Carlos' home, he found Carlos barely calling him anymore. He hoped he was alright. James had already been behind in school from that week spent with Carlos and he was always busy with homework.<p>

One day, James decided he'd visit Carlos.

He knocked at the door. No answer.

He kept knocking.

He knew Carlos' mom was at work but she trusted Carlos. Anything Carlos could cut himself with was gone.

_Or so they thought._

James once again repeated the night before the horrible incident where Carlos' dad beat him and climbed the tree next to Carlos' room.

He was happy to see the window was open. He opened it quickly and climbed in. Carlos wasn't in his room.

He heard the sink running in the bathroom so he opened it to find Carlos running his wrist underneath the water.

"Carlos?" James asked.

Carlos flinched, frightened. "James? Why are you here?" His eyes were bloodshot.

"I was worried about you... What are you doing?"

"N-nothing..."

"Fuck, Carlos," James' face scrunched up with worry and he quickly grabbed Carlos' wrist, seeing three new cuts.

"James, I'm sorry..." Carlos started crying.

James held him as tight as he could.

He needed to try a little harder at fixing the broken boy.

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><p><strong>Super short. More of just a filler.<strong>


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